那女孩對我說

What is it about the sky?

I like thinking about the past and how things used to be so simple. Because really, nothing much has changed except for our states of mind. Arguably, we cannot go revert to a previous state of mind except maybe with amnesia or Alzheimer's. Other than that, our minds are akin to the taut laws of time. Self-aware and memory-bound, our minds expand linearly and dualistically disintegrate at the end of our lives. (Don't bring theistic arguments here please, to Hell with Pascal's wager. It's not the safest bet and is actually significantly flawed.) How do i strike that out? Oh well. Sometimes i think that i resemble an aged reminiscent man with all the sentiments i fancy myself to value while i'm just barely through with puberty.

心很空天很大雲很重
我恨孤單 卻趕不走 Give me something to believe in,

捧著她的名子 A breath from the breathing;
她的喜怒哀樂
往前走 多久了?

I think about Man and how he came to be so selfish and cruel. I'm starting to doubt the existence of a strong moral compass within each man upon birth. ( I resent how fallacious beings butt in on nearly every moral point, often making a logical discussion difficult ) Are we shaped to be good? I'm not being hypocritical to my post on precise universal definition as i believe the need for good maybe unnatural in most of us. We seem to be programmed to be in conflict, in order to secure ourselves and our kin the right to inhabit this world, be it politically or religiously. Only sexually do we seldom find conflict in difference for fear of eradication. In both senses of the sentence. I remember watching a movie and feeling heartbroken when i saw a kid bully a smaller kid for no reason. I actually cried myself to sleep that night thinking about movies of injustice and bullying. ( I was really young ) But the point is that for the life of me i could not understand hurting someone for no reason at all? I understand thefts to a degree. Maybe they need to support their family and they're banking on the chance that the person who they stole from wasn't in dire need for that albeit hard-earned cash. But well, somewhere along the way, i lost that flame. I can't go backwards. But maybe i can reach a point where that ideal resurfaces in the modern life. Enlighten me.

一個人心中只有一個寶貝
So write it down, 久了之後 她變成了眼淚
I don't think that i'll close my eyes 淚一滴在左手 凝固成為寂寞
往回看 有什麼?

My posts always seem to float from topic to topic. My mind is erratic and i just can't seem to fall asleep!! Do people think before they curse someone? When they say "Go to Hell", do they realize the implications? What happens if it really happens? People say it nowadays for the slightest reasons. But i guess i'm not totally free from this either. Aside from frequent 'Damn you's, i resent a single person enough to not feel an ounce of pity if i ever see her get rammed by a- Sigh. I'm a sinner. But that woman really is a heartless, self righteous, pompous, arrogant, bitchfaced hag. (Strikeout bitchfaced). I should resolve not to curse anymore.

那女孩對我說
說我保護她的夢
說這個世界
對她這樣的不多 Cause lately i'm not dreaming

她漸漸忘了我 So what's the point in sleeping?
但是她並不曉得
遍體鱗傷的我
一天也沒再愛過

I'm no liar,though. But there's nothing for me to say anymore right now. I should get some sleep. Just maybe it'll come more easily now. Sighs. I want them pills.

那女孩對我說

說我是一個小偷

偷走她的回憶

It's just that at night 塞進我的腦海中

I've got nowhere to hide 我不需要自由

只想背著她的夢

一步步向前走

她給的永遠 不重

Jack's Mannequin- -黄义达

*Note: The English isn't a translation*

*******

Do you realize that when you're looking into the sky,

You're looking at the past, and everything

that's happening beneath that very sky in the present

As well as everything the future encompasses?

At every glance, we're taunted with the sight

Of thousands of stars and galaxies

Civilizations, relics, answers

All right there just beyond our grasp as the sky was to us

Just a century or two ago

If only our eyes could see far enough

So much more, endless possibilities

And trials and tribulations and quantum leaps

To be carried out beneath that very sky

While you lay there enjoying the breeze

And still one day, that sky will be gone

And you're looking at something miraculous

A part of the world that has been here since billions of years ago

But will inevitably disintegrate

We're looking at the past, present and future

We're looking at the end of the universe

We're a part of something so much larger

Lying on the grass,

Just enjoy the breeze.

-Waih 3:47a.m.

Back to regular programming next time. I think i'm a little drunken with night. It happens. I don't think straight and many things come out unfiltered. Or perhaps that's when i think clearly before we each put up silly facades and defences to face the dawning of the deceitful day.

'Just talk to me awhile, joke about the things we used to see.'